Reunited
by LawlietLover7
Summary: After four years of searching for Mello, Matt has a surprise one night when Mello turns up on his doorstep badly injured with burns. With the task of taking care of and healing his old best friend, Matt realizes that the feelings he's had for Mello for all of these years have been rekindled. MattxMello. Yaoi. Rated M for strong language and strong yaoi later on.
1. Chapter 1

It was in the middle of the night when I heard a knock on my door.

I was just in the middle of playing _Call of Duty_ on my Xbox 360. My cigarette hung limply between my lips as my sleep deprived eyes stared at the TV screen. My thumbs moved skillfully over the controller as I focused on getting a high score. At first when a knock came on the door of my apartment I figured it was someone mistaking my door for someone else'. I mean, who could possibly be visiting me? No one knew me in this huge ass city of Los Angeles.

The knocking on my door sounded again, louder this time. I sighed and set down my controller, pausing my game before getting up. I walked down the narrow hallway towards the door and opened it. As soon as it opened someone collapsed inside over the threshold. I jumped back in surprise and looked down at my visitor.

The first thing that I thought was whether this was a woman or a man for this person had shoulder length blonde hair. But I distinctly remembered a certain someone in my distant memories that had hair just like that. Only the difference was that this person's hair was not cut evenly across and more edgy.

My question on this person's gender was answered when I heard a low groan in a male's voice. I got down on my knees and looked closer at this person. He wore a black leather vest that came short enough to expose the soft pale skin of his lower back before his legs were covered with sleek black leather pants. I began to wonder if this was some prostitute that was randomly going around knocking on doors. Not that I was complaining but I really didn't have time to be fooling around in this city.

"Er, excuse me?" I asked uncertainly and reached out to prod his shoulder. But I stopped when I caught site of the state his shoulder was in. His entire left shoulder was burned, raw flesh was exposed and it looked like a second degree or third degree burn.

Instantly I started to panic slightly and considered dialing 911 for this person. I took out my cell phone and started dialing the number when I heard another low groan from the person.

"If you're calling 911 I'll fucking kill you Matt…"

I paused right before hitting the call button and blinked in shock at the man. Only one person ever spoke to me like that…

"M-Mello?"

The blonde lifted his head up weakly from the floor and turned to look up at me. It was hard to see his face because his blonde hair covered most of it, but I could still make out those familiar blue eyes.

"Who else would I be dumbass!?"

My heart leapt with joy at this realization but then I remembered that Mello was not in good condition. I quickly grabbed him from beneath his arms and helped get him up off the floor. He stood doubled over and his left arm shuddered from what looked like obvious pain. He took one step forward and stumbled to his right and crashed into the wall like a drunken man.

"Mello just let me help you!" I said quickly and rushed forward to help him. He shook his head however at my words.

"I don't need your help. Just show me a place I can lie down," Mello snapped in anger.

I calmly watched him for a minute and rolled my eyes. I went against his commands and wrapped an arm around his waist while throwing his right arm over my shoulders.

"I said I don't need your help!" Mello said harshly through gritted teeth. No matter how angry his voice was, I could still hear the pain coloring his tone.

I snorted and continued to help guide Mello down the hallway towards my bedroom. It was only a one bedroom apartment so there wasn't much room for more than one person. But I would gladly give up my bed to my old best friend…especially when he was in this state.

Once I laid Mello down on the bed I knelt down and closely examined his wounds. His skin was blistering badly, clear liquid oozed over the burns as the body reacted naturally to try and protect the muscle tissue underneath. I fought back a gag reflex as I saw that the burn stretched from his entire left shoulder all the way up to cover half of his face. Luckily his eyes were still good, but his skin needed immediate medical attention.

"I'm going to have to take you to a hospital Mells," I said, standing up after looking at his wounds.

At this Mello shook his head. "No. If you call them then I'll just be arrested after I heal and then Kira will kill me. I didn't get these burns just to end up in Kira's hands in the end," he said.

I grimaced as I stared at him. "Mells, these burns will not heal without proper medical attention! They'll scar you for life if we don't get them treated right away!"

"Then let them scar! I'd rather have destroyed skin than give into my enemy! If I go to a hospital I will have lost in the fight against Near to capture Kira and I will not lose!"

I stared at Mello as he glared off into the space ahead of him. He didn't meet my eyes while he said this. So I sighed and pulled out a chair next to his bed and sat down. I had my head in my hands for a few moments before looking back up at him.

"You leave me no choice then. I'll try my best to patch you up. But you have to promise me that after I heal you, you will tell me how you came to get these burns and where you've been these last four years," I told him in a weary voice.

Mello looked briefly over at me and nodded while swallowing. "Fine. Whatever. Just help me wrap up these burns alright?"

I stood up and walked over to a closet in my apartment where I kept a first aid kit. I returned to the bedroom with it and opened it up. There wasn't much, at least not enough to actually heal these burns perfectly. But it was enough to cover the burns which were my top priority.

"Is there any burn relief cream in there?" Mello asked quietly, his voice revealed the pain he was feeling more now.

I nodded. "Yeah, but it's only a tiny bottle. Not nearly enough to cover all of this."

He sighed and his jaw set. "Then just apply it on the places that hurt the most."

"Where?"

"Just put it wherever it looks bad."

I looked at his burns. It all looked bad. But I could see the spots where the burns were the worst and decided those were hurting Mello the worst. So very carefully, I squeezed some of the burn relief lotion onto my fingers and reached over to gently begin dabbing at the burns.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Mello screamed and sat up, grabbing my wrist tightly and shaking. "THAT FUCKING HURTS!"

I quickly got over my surprise at his reaction and calmly nodded. "Well did you think that it would feel good at first? Just lie back down and grit your teeth. Bear with me alright?"

Mello breathed heavily, staring intensely into my eyes before lying back down and swallowing. I squirted some more onto my fingers and applied them to the burns. Mello grunted in pain, his face flinching but other than that he didn't overreact like he did the first time. When I was finished applying the relief lotion Mello sighed with what sounded like relief.

"Better?" I asked with a small smile.

He nodded and I took out the roll of cloth bandage wrap. I reached out and gently placed a hand on his good shoulder.

"Mells, sit up alright? I'm going to put the bandaging on you…"

He complied with my request and sat up like he was told. I was surprised that he actually listened to me but then again he was probably too wrapped up in the soothing relief he was feeling from the lotion to care. I set to work wrapping the bandages around his torso and onto his shoulder. I worked my way up to his face where I carefully wrapped bandaging around the left side of his face until he could only see out of his right eye. When I was done, I began putting away the first aid kit.

"Thank you."

I paused and looked over in surprise at Mello but he was already asleep. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, turning away. I stood up and grabbed a blanket to throw over Mello's body. I tucked it in around him and left the room, shutting the door behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't believe it.

After years of searching for Mello, he randomly shows up on my doorstep in a complete mess. I didn't know how he knew where I lived. I didn't know how he even remembered me. I mean I was his best friend at Wammy's but…after four years of losing contact with someone sometimes you just forget about them. But I guess Mells never forgot about me. That sprouted a beam of light in my darkness at least.

But there were still the many thoughts clouding my brain of just what he has been up to these past four years. Constantly I would get up from my video games to go and peek into his bedroom just to make sure I wasn't dreaming up this situation. Mells was actually here with me and I was…beyond happy. I was overjoyed at the idea of having my best friend back in my life.

Mello and I were close. Almost like brothers in a way. We shared everything at the orphanage, even our beds sometimes. We never left each other's sides. I would always listen to his rants about how he hated Near and he would sit and watch me play video games. We were the best of buds and now that he's back, I've never felt more alive.

My mind rambled with thoughts of Mello as I played video games. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even hear him come up behind me on the couch until he spoke, his voice right behind me.

"I see you still play video games…"

I jumped and nearly dropped my controller in surprise. I looked behind me to see Mello standing there, shirtless and watching me with a small smile. For some reason seeing him without a shirt on caused my breath to catch in my throat. But I quickly swallowed and nodded.

"Er yeah."

He sighed and looked around the apartment. "Do you have any chocolate around here?" he asked, rubbing his toned stomach. I took notice of his well-defined abs and felt my mouth grow dry.

"No…I don't usually eat chocolate…I guess that hasn't changed about you either," I told him.

Mello snickered and then walked around the couch so he could sit down by me. He draped his elbows on the back of the couch and looked at the TV screen.

"You know, you should really be resting right now," I said in a warning tone as I looked at the bandages covering his upper-body.

He rolled his eyes. "No thanks. I don't have time to rest. I need to get back to trying to find Kira and beat Near."

This reminded me of my questions he promised to answer. So I turned off the game and TV and turned to face him fully on the couch. He looked slightly surprised that I turned off my video games but looked at me, waiting.

I took a deep breath and began. "First off, where have you been these past four years?" I asked.

Mello grinned. "I joined the Mafia here in Los Angeles."

My eyes widened at this news. "You…joined the Mafia?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I figured the best way to catch Kira was to side with criminals who work underground in hiding from him. It was all going smoothly for me too until Kira sent in his men to raid our lair. I would've died at Kira's hand had I not armed the place with bombs."

"Bombs!?"

Mello smirked. "Yes Matty, bombs. I blew the place up, myself included. That's how I got these burns, but it was the only way I could escape."

I was speechless. So Mello purposely blew himself up to get away from Kira. Just thinking of how much he's put his life at risk caused me to shiver in fear. He was pushing his luck too much. He managed to escape from Kira's clutches once. The chances of it happening again were limited to none.

"So now I want to ask why you're here in Los Angeles, Matty."

I looked up, startled, at Mello's question for me. However I heaved a sigh and looked down at my lap.

"I came here in search of you."

Mello raised an eyebrow at this. "Why did you come here for me? You're not working for Near are you?"

I shook my head. "No, I hate Near just as much as you do. Well, maybe not as badly but I still don't like the kid. Honestly I'd probably kill myself if I worked with him."

Mello laughed at this. "Well good. He's such an arrogant little bastard…" he muttered.

I nodded and continued. "I was searching for you because I wanted to figure out what happened to my best friend. I've spent the last four years of my life searching for you."

Mello took in these words and his lips parted in shock. He stared at me for a long minute and then leaned back into the cushions on the couch.

"Well you should've known that I was going after Kira. That would result in me going into hiding like Near," he said.

I shrugged. "I figured it you got word that I was looking for you that you would come find me and let me join you."

Mello's eyes darkened. "Matt, if you joined me while I was in the Mafia you would've been killed. All of my men were killed in the attack. I was the only one that got away. The thing about this case is…I have a feeling that I'm going to end up getting myself killed. I don't really care but, if it's to catch Kira and avenge L then that's alright with me. I just want to be remembered as the one who caught Kira, not that little albino twit."

His words disturbed me. Mello talking about dying…it didn't sit well with me at all. I swallowed against my tight throat and decided to express my displeasure with this information.

"Mells, Kira isn't worth losing your life over."

Mello sighed and gave me a small smile. "L lost to Kira. He was killed, and I have no doubt he knew he was going to get killed by doing this case. That's why I will follow in his footsteps. I don't care that I might get killed, as long as I get credit for capturing Kira, then it's fine by me."

This infuriated me to the point where I stood up quickly, my hands clenched into fists.

"Mello! Stop saying that! How can you value your life so little!?" I yelled at him.

His eyes widened and he stared up at me in shock. But then he looked away, his eyes casted down to the floor.

"You can't decide how I run my life, Matt. It's my life and I decide how I live it," he muttered.

I was taken aback by this. Mello really didn't give a damn about his life. He only cared about beating Near and capturing Kira first. Everything was about Near…all of it. It was as if the little albino creep was completely overruling Mello's life. I hated Near. I hated him so much I wished he would just disappear. If he did, then maybe Mello wouldn't be so obsessed on catching Kira.

"Mells, I won't let you just throw your life away out the window."

Mello looked up at me, his blue eyes flashed dangerously.

"It's my fucking life, Matt! You can't decide what I do, I am the leader of my life, I choose how I want to live it!" he said, his voice raising a little.

My jaw clenched tightly but after a minute, I relaxed the tension in my muscles and calmed myself down. I sighed and sat back down on the couch.

"Fine. You do whatever the hell you want. Anyways I have another question for you. How the hell did you know where I was?"

Mello rolled his eyes. "Honest to god Matt, it's as if you don't even know me. I was in the Mafia; of course I knew that you came into town. I knew you were looking for me. But I didn't reveal myself to you because I knew that would risk blowing my cover. So I remained hidden but kept tabs on where you were. I remembered finding out that you were staying in these shitty apartments before I blew the Mafia lair up and left to come here. I knew you would take me in without hesitation."

I bit my lip in anger. "So I'm just a safe house for you, huh? If you weren't injured then you would've just continued on your way, ignoring the fact that your best friend was looking for you?" I asked him through gritted teeth.

Mello shook his head. "No Matt. I would've come to visit you injured or not. Besides, I'm not only here to heal. I'm here to ask you to help me with the Kira case."

My eyes widened in surprise at this. Help Mello with the Kira case? But after thinking about it, my eyes darkened behind my orange goggles.

"So I'm your last resort, huh? The Mafia didn't work out so you figured I was good enough to suit as option B?" I asked him.

Mello sighed. "You know Matt you really need to stop assuming things. I always knew I was going to end up working with you, in fact that was my original plan when I left Wammy's. I was going to have you join me. But then I met the Mafia and things took off from there. I never once stopped considering having you join me though."

I was lost for words at that point and looked away from him. We sat in an awkward silence as my mind ran over with all of this information. But my thoughts were put on pause when I felt arms wrap around me. My eyes widened and I looked over to see the top of Mello's blonde head, his arms are awkwardly thrown around me while we sat on the couch. He was practically sitting in my lap, his leather-clad legs straddling me.

"Matty I've missed you so much. These past four years have been so dull without you around to entertain me. I've missed your cocky attitude, your over-confidence, even your bad habit of smoking…everything. It's all been so boring without you around…"

I was frozen beneath him, my ears soaking in every inch of his words. He truly sounded heartfelt but also playful, as if he was trying to get me to wrestle around with him like we always did when we were little. We would pretend we were L versus the criminal. Usually I was the criminal and Mello was L (obviously that desire has stuck with him throughout his life) and we would wrestle and playfully fight. In the end we would always have L win, Mello would stand with a foot on my chest, victorious.

But that was then and this is now.

Now Mello was straddling my lap causing a lot of blood to rush from my head down to a surprisingly tight crotch. Feeling Mello's backside briefly brush against my right thigh made me fight back a small moan as I stared into his narrowed blue eyes. A playful smile enlightened his lips as he watched me closely.

"M-Mells…" I stuttered, my breath slightly uneven as a light blush spread across my cheeks.

He raised an eyebrow, frowning. "What's wrong Matty? You look like you're burning up…" He reached over and placed a hand on my forehead. Eventually my crotch was throbbing with desire and I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed Mello off of me and stood up from the couch, walking away, trying to hide the bulge in my pants.

"What the hell?" Mello asked me, his voice dripped with disappointment and aggravation at my sudden action.

I shook my head, running a gloved hand through my dark hair.

"Mello, you need to stop doing that," I muttered.

"Doing what?"

My arm fell to my side and I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Giving me false hope that you're actually going to stay for good."

I could practically hear the growl in his voice.

"Matt, I've already told you. I'm here to stay with you for good. I've had my fun with the Mafia but I've come back to you because I know you will stick to my side like glue. There is no one I trust more in this world than you."

I whipped around suddenly, my eyes flashing behind my goggles. "You told me at Wammy's that you were going to stay by my side forever and look what happened!? If there is one thing I know about you is that you never stick to your word! You're just as bad as Near! He twists everyone around his fingers as well, using people for his own personal gain!" I yelled. I had no idea where all of this anger was coming from. Usually I could keep my cool in these situations but I suppose after seeing your best friend after he disappeared for four years without telling you where he went, it was bound to make me burst someday.

Mello stared at me in shock but all too soon his face darkened and he stood up as well, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"You're just angry because I left! Get over it Matt! You knew I was going to leave Wammy's eventually! It was my fault for not taking you with me but I had to do things on my own for a while! I couldn't just drop everything I did just because you came into town!" he yelled back at me.

"Dammit Mello!" I growled and in anger, I slammed my fist against the wall of the apartment, smashing my knuckles into the drywall. Excruciating pain shot up my arm from doing this and I collapsed onto the floor, clutching my throbbing hand.

"SHIT!" I looked at my hand and clenched my teeth together in pain. Mello rushed over and bent down and made to grab my hand but I turned away from him.

"I don't need your help!" I spat at him.

I was surprised when I heard Mello chuckle slightly from behind me. "Looks like the tables have turned. Instead of you helping me and me saying that, now it's opposite. Come on Matt, let me help you."

"No."

"Give me your hand."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

I was surprised when Mello smacked me hard across the back of my head.

"OUCH! What the hell-!?" I yelled and turned around just in time for him to grab my arm and force me to stand up. He dragged me over to the small dingy set of a table and two fold out metal chairs. After forcing me to sit down, he knelt down in front of me, holding my injured hand in his. He looked at it carefully and sighed.

"You're fucking lucky you didn't sprain or break anything. But you bruised the hell out of it."

He got up to go fetch the first aid kit and returned, setting to work bandaging up my hand. As he worked I watched him.

"You should be resting. Let me take care of this," I muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Matt, just let me fucking take care of you alright? Stop giving me shit to put up with."

A corner of my lips pulled up slightly at this as I watched him. If there was one thing that didn't change about us in these past four years, it was how we treated each other. One might look at us and think we absolutely loathed each other by how we communicate. But that's just how we are. We fight, speak shit about each other and in the end we make up by doing something relatively helpful for the other.

But soon after I thought about this, I began to take notice of something. Every brush of Mello's fingers across the skin of my hand sent a jolt of electricity running through me. Flames would flare up beneath my skin at every gentle tug he made on the bandage. A strange feeling erupted in my stomach, as if I had a bad case of nerves. Was this what the expression called 'butterflies in my stomach' meant? If so, then I was experiencing it non-stop.

Before long my hand was completely wrapped up. Mello stood up after closing the first aid kit and turned away from me.

"I'm going to go watch TV," he murmured and left me at my chair. When I heard the TV flick on, I sighed and ran my good hand through my hair in frustration. The whole time Mello took care of me my heart was hammering in my chest and I could hardly breathe. Was that normal? Was I supposed to feel that way about my best friend?

No.

My body was telling me something. Getting slightly hard by Mello sitting on me. Feeling the butterflies in my stomach as Mello fixed my hand…the feelings were back.

I thought I had gotten rid of them for good after Mello left. He left me in so much pain and heartbreak because I realized I never got to tell him how I felt about him before he was gone. But now that he's back…the feelings are back.

These are the feelings of want. Of Need.

Of irrevocable Love.


	3. Chapter 3

I could hardly sleep that night.

No matter how many video games I played or how many cigarettes I smoked, I couldn't get my mind off of Mello. Of his touch, his face, his voice…everything. I should've known the consequences of going after Mello. I was too ignorant in thinking about just how well my feelings for him were shut away. I guess that even after four years of telling myself that Mello was nothing more than an old friend, I still held doubt.

My thoughts weren't distracted by Mello until he himself walked into the living room of the apartment in the morning. He stood in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest. I took in his slender appearance and frowned.

"Why do you dress like that?" I asked him randomly.

He raised an eyebrow and glanced down at his leather outfit. "What do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes and sat up from lying on the couch. I gestured at him as I spoke. "Why do you dress like you're a fucking hooker?"

Mello's eyes narrowed into a glare and his hand unconsciously twitched towards his gun on his hip. "If you call me that one more time I swear to god I will put a fucking bullet through your head," he threatened.

I sighed and raised my hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'm just curious alright?" Inwardly I couldn't help but hate his outfit. It revealed too much skin…mocking me of what I couldn't have.

Mello shook his head. "Whatever. Now, what the hell are we going to do today?" he asked.

I shrugged and looked at the TV. "I dunno. Watch television, play video games?"

The blonde looked at me as if I was nuts. "Are you an idiot? Kira is out there on the loose and all you care about is video games!? What kind of Wammy kid are you!?"

"A Wammy kid who doesn't give a shit about helping the world or competing to be L."

"Well learn to start giving a shit because now that you're helping me on the Kira case you need to actually take part in doing something."

I raised an eyebrow and looked accusingly at his injuries. He was just now starting to heal. The burns would still need a few weeks left before they would be fully healed.

"Mells, you're still badly injured and aren't even halfway through your healing process. As for me, I've got a badly bruised hand now. What we both need to do is rest and take it easy. We need to lay low for the next few weeks and then we can start taking action."

Mello sent a glare at me but then he heaved out a sigh and sat down on the couch next to me. "Fine! We'll just be lazy and let Kira catch us!"

I rolled my eyes and took out a cigarette and lighter. As I lit the cigarette, Mello looked over and gave me a disgruntled look. I paused after lighting the cigarette and stared at him.

"What?" I asked, balancing the cig between my lips.

He wrinkled his nose. "Do you have to smoke inside? Can't you go outside and do it?"

I snickered and put the lighter away. "Mells, if I went outside more than likely somebody would shoot me. This isn't exactly the safest part of Los Angeles…"

"Well at least crack open a fucking window!"

I sighed and stood up, walking over to the nearest window and cracking it open. I walked back over and sat on the couch, taking out a handheld video game to play. As I played it, Mello sat back on the couch looking deep in thought. In secrecy, I marveled at how handsome he looked. Even with bandages covering half of his face and his entire left shoulder he still was the apple of my eye.

"What are you staring at?"

I blinked and saw that he was watching me as I gawked at him like an idiot. I swallowed and looked back down at my game quickly with a muttered, 'nothing,' under my breath.

"At this rate Near is way ahead of me in the race to catch Kira…" Mello said darkly.

I clenched my teeth around the cigarette as I worked on fighting back my fury at Mello for talking about Near. Was he even capable of talking about anything but that albino brat!?

"Mello, for once in your life stop thinking about that stupid albino kid and just focus on yourself alright?" I told him in an irritated voice.

He looked at me in shock before giving me a glare. "He's always been number one, Matt. For once I want to be number one."

_You've always been number one to me…_I thought silently after he said this. I remained silent, not saying a word. We sat in this silence for a long period of time before Mello sighed and resituated himself on the couch.

"How the hell do you do this all day!?" he finally spat out.

I spoke without looking up from my game. "Do what?"

"Nothing! How can you do nothing all day while criminals like Kira are loose!?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mells, in case you've forgotten, I really don't give a fuck about Kira or anything like that in general."

His face darkened as he looked at me. "But you're L's third successor! L even once told us that you have the ability of even surpassing Near and I! How can you not care!?"

I finally looked up at him. "You want to know why I don't care Mells? Because I've seen what the competition of wanting to be L has done to people. Take A and B for example. A ended up killing himself and B went nuts. You and Near could easily be friends but because of this damn competition you've been in since day one it's completely overruled your life. I don't care about being L's successor because I don't want to have a part in the madness and insanity that the pressure brings with it. I would rather spend the rest of my days locked away in my room playing video games than out there dealing with the pressures of being the world's greatest detective."

Mello was quiet after I finished. I turned to look back down at my game.

It was all true.

L only ever visited Wammy's twice in my life. Otherwise the rest of the times he visited us was him speaking through a laptop. The second time L visited the orphanage he spoke with me face to face. I always thought he was a strange guy, with bad posture and an untidy appearance. He reminded me way too much of Near as far as similarities in appearance goes. He sat in a chair with his knees pulled up to his chest and stared at me with large dark eyes, dark circles hung beneath those ebony orbs to show that he rarely ever got any sleep.

He told me that he was L and instantly set off explaining to me that in the case that something happens to both Near and Mello, that I would be the next in line as his successor. He said that my skills in technology and my talented mind were far enough in advance that I could take on the role of the world's greatest detective. But the idea of being his successor was never what I wanted. I didn't care at all that I ranked third.

I was brought back to my spot on the couch next to Mello in the apartment. I resumed playing my video game but I could feel Mello's eyes on me.

"I never knew you hated the idea of being L's third successor so much…" I heard him mumble.

I paused; my thumbs on the buttons of my handheld were frozen. "I don't hate it, I just don't want it. I don't want to be L, I'm too much of a carefree spirit in that sense I guess."

Mello laughed causing me to glance up at him. "You've always been a carefree person Matty…That's just one of the many things I like about you."

My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. "You…like me?" I asked slowly.

He shrugged and nodded. "Well yeah, you're my best friend. If I didn't like you I don't think I'd be here right now."

My heart fell at his words and I sighed, looking back down at my game. "Oh…right," I mutter.

Silence fell over us again and then Mello began tapping his foot on the floor.

"What now?" I asked him without taking my eyes off of my game.

"How long will this burn take to heal?"

I sigh and shrugged my shoulders. "No idea. I don't know much about medical treatments, but if we change the bandaging on your burn and if you keep resting and don't move around much, it should heal in about three weeks at least."

Mello's eyes widened. "Three weeks!? Matt! That gives Near plenty of time to capture Kira first!" he exclaimed.

My eyes darkened behind my goggles when Mello mentioned Near's name. Furious, I slammed my handheld onto the coffee table before me and stood up. I could feel Mello's eyes on me as I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my fur vest, slipping it on and zipping it up.

"Where are you going?" Mello asked me from the living room. I detected a hint of worry in his voice, as if he thought I was going to leave him for good. I would never do that though…_I couldn't._

"I just need some fresh air that's all," I mutter loud enough for him to hear before I open the front door and slam it shut behind me. My hands dive deep into the pockets of my vest as I walk down the steps leading out of my apartment building. When I finally walk outside, I noticed that it's late. The sun has already set and the sky is very dark.

I look up at the half moon shining in the sky behind cloud cover. I reach up and remove the old cigarette from my mouth, tossing it onto the ground and snuffing it out with the toe of my boot. I take out a new cigarette from my pocket and place it between my lips, lighting it before taking a deep drag from it. Instantly my nerves start to settle down as the tobacco takes effect in my body. I exhale a smooth stream of smoke; it curls up into the air.

When would Mello ever stop thinking about Near? It's almost as if the albino brat was the love of Mello's life. It's as if they are meant to be together…but that's ridiculous. Mello absolutely loathes Near. They would become a couple only when Hell freezes over. That brightened my spirits a little.

Suddenly my cellphone went off. I took it out of my pocket and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Matt?"

It was Mello.

I sighed and leaned my back against the brick siding of the apartment building. "Yes, what is it Mello?"

"Are you pissed off right now?"

I shook my head. "No. What do you want Mello?"

"I…I have an idea on how I can still work on the Kira case despite being injured."

I frowned. "Mells, what did I tell you? You can't do any work yet, you need to res-"

Mello cut me off with a growl. "I know!" his voice softened. "I know…I'm just saying that this plan would solely involve you since you're not the one who is injured."

I shook my head again even though he couldn't see me. "Mells, I'm not working on this damn Kira case yet. I'm staying here with you until you're fully healed."

"But Matt-!"

"No but's!" I say sharply. "Now go get some fucking sleep while I cool off outside alright?"

"But-"

"Mello!"

He sighed. "Fine. I'll take it easy, I promise. Where are you right now?"

"I'm just outside of the apartment building. But I'm about to head out and get some food."

There was a moment of silence before Mello spoke on the other line. "Could you do something for me?"

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth in irritation. "For the last time, I am not doing anything about the Kira case yet!"

"This isn't about that."

I pause. "Then what is it?"

"Could…could you get me some chocolate?"

I blinked and before I could help myself, a slow smile spread across my lips. "Sure thing Mells."

"Thanks Matt…"

With that he hung up and I did as well. I slipped the phone back into the pocket of my vest and walked away from the apartment building towards the nearest gas station.

When I returned to the apartment, it was dark and quiet. I walked into my small kitchen and set down the plastic bag full of chocolate bars. I walked to Mello's room and cracked open the door to find him sprawled out on the bed. He was snoring softly and I smirked, shutting the door. I walked back into the kitchen and took out a can of chicken noodle soup. I poured it into a bowl and heated it up in the microwave until it was steaming hot. I slipped a spoon into the bowl and walked back to Mello's room. I opened the door and sat down on the edge of his bed.

Within seconds I saw him lick his lips and sniff the air. His eyes cracked open and he blinked bleary eyed at me.

"Matt?" He asked in a sleepy voice, starting to sit up. I placed a hand on his shoulder forcing him to move slowly.

"I made you some soup…just lie back and rest, I'll feed it to you."

He frowned and looked at me with slightly angry eyes. "I'm not weak!" He snapped.

I nodded my head, remaining calm and ignoring his protest. "I know that, but just let me take care of you. The more you rest the sooner you'll heal," I said gently.

His shoulders tensed a moment longer and then he relaxed and laid back against the pillow. "Fine. Do what you want," he muttered, averting his gaze from mine.

I scooped the spoon in the bowl and leaned in close to Mello. Carefully, so to not spill on him, I brought the spoonful of soup over to his dry lips. The metal tip of the spoon touched his upper lip and he parted his lips so I could slip the spoon into his mouth. His lips closed around the spoon, slurping the soup into his mouth and swallowed. He sighed and licked his lips again.

"How is the soup?" I asked him, bringing the spoon back over to the bowl and scooping another spoonful.

Mello didn't look at me as he replied, "It's…good," he muttered.

I smiled softly and repeated my actions, feeding him spoonful's of the soup until it was all gone. At last I set the bowl down on the nightstand and sighed, looking at him.

"Why are you being so nice to me when I treat you like shit?" Mello asked me, he sounded very tired. His eyelids started to droop as he grew more and more sleepy.

To this, I could only smile at him and rest my chin in the palm of my hand as I watched him. His breathing slowed and he was eventually asleep. I reached over and pushed back a few strands of his blonde hair and stroked his cheek with a finger.

"It's because I love you Mells," I whispered quietly to his sleeping face.

I stood up and slipped my hands into my pockets. I watched the peaceful expression on his face a moment longer and then turned, walking out of the room. I shut the door and then stood there, slumped against it as I stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm pathetic…" I muttered to myself and tilted my head forward with a bitter laugh. I slid my back down the door until I sat on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I placed my forehead against my knees and sat there in silence, listening to the faint sounds of sirens and the city nightlife outside.

My thoughts drifted from Mello all the way back to six years ago at the orphanage…

_Six Years Ago…_

_"I'm sure you will like it here at the orphanage, Mail…"_

_I sat in a chair in Roger's office. I had just arrived at Wammy's orphanage and discovered what this place really was. Roger called it 'an institution for selected children to be in line as L's successors' but I knew the truth. It was just a big house where kids were kept as collection items. I didn't have a clue who the hell this 'L' guy was, all I knew was that he was some great detective and apparently was so important he had to have back-ups._

_I stared glumly at the floor beneath me, refusing to look up and meet Roger's gaze._

_"I want to go home," I muttered._

_Roger sighed and folded his hands on his desk. "I'm sorry, but you cannot go back to where you came from. You're parents are both gone. That car accident that they were involved in was fatal," he said in a weary voice._

_For some reason this infuriated me. "They are not dead!" I yelled, my hands clenched into fists. I looked up at the old man with fury written in my eyes._

_Roger did not do anything but stare at me with sad eyes through square glasses. Finally he spoke after a long period of silence in which I calmed down._

_"You are in denial, Mail. Your mind can't grasp the fact that you no longer have a family. I'm very sorry about your loss, but this orphanage will be your new family, I promise. You will make many friends, they will be like the brothers and sisters you've never had."_

_I snorted and shook my head. "Yeah…right."_

_Roger grimaced and then leaned back in his chair. "While you are here you will no longer be called Mail. To protect your identity, your name will be changed to Matt."_

_I looked up at him in confusion. "Why do I have to change my name?"_

_"Because while many people appreciate L, the world's greatest detective, there are those who wish him dead. So to protect his identity, he goes by many names and he has never shown his face to the public. It is his wish to make sure all of you are protected like him so he has made it a rule that every child here goes by an alias name," Roger explained._

_In the end I just shrugged my shoulders. For some kids, having to change their name might anger them, but for me, I guess I was starting to just not care anymore._

_"Whatever," was all I could reply to that._

_Roger stood up from behind his desk and walked over to me. I stood up as well and he placed a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me. A weak smile graced his lips as he looked at me._

_"You will like it here, I promise," he assured me._

_I averted my eyes and allowed him to lead me out of his office. We walked down many hallways, I could faintly hear children's laughter and talking echoing in the halls. We passed many doors that lined the hallways until one door was flung open. Roger and I both stopped in our tracks as two boys came out of the room, one had their hands around the other's throat._

_"I'LL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME, ISAAC! DID YOU EAT MY LAST CHOCOLATE BAR!?"_

_I was very surprised. The boy who just yelled had shoulder length blonde hair and wore all black. He was thin and gangly, built very much like me. The boy thrown up against the wall was struggling and trying to break free, gasping and choking. Roger left my side at once and quickly rushed over to break the two boys apart. When he accomplished that much, he glared at the blonde haired boy who was still trying to get his hands on the other boy._

_"Mello! How many times do I have to tell you that violence is never the answer to conflicts!?"_

_The boy named Mello stopped trying to get at the other boy and stuck his hands into the pockets of his black pants. His eyes were casted down to the floor as he avoided Roger's strict gaze._

_"I dunno…at least a dozen times?" he answered._

_Roger sighed and ran a hand over his face wearily. Mello looked up from the floor and his electric blue eyes found me. I paused, frozen to my spot as he stared at me. I never noticed before just how…cool he looked. He had a thin face that was framed nicely by his blonde hair. He looked a lot like me in how we were both built. Our styles of dress were very different, but yet they somehow complimented each other. _

_"Who's the new kid?" he asked._

_Roger was slightly out of breath from stopping the two boys who fought but then looked over at me._

_"Mello, that is Matt Jeevas, he's our newest addition to the orphanage. Matt, this is Mello."_

_Mello shrugged his shoulder out of Roger's grasp and approached me with confidence. He stopped when he was a foot away from me and stared me down. I noticed he was just an inch taller than me. The gaze he used to look at me with was something of intimidation. But I wasn't going to let myself appear weak or beneath him. I was not going to put up with any bullying or crap like that. So I squared my shoulders and glared right back at him with as much intimidation as possible. _

_I had no idea how long this went for, but then Mello broke away and turned to face Roger._

_"Roger, I want this kid to be my roommate from now on."_

_Roger's eyes widened slightly and he blinked, looking between me and Mello. I was surprised as well, did this kid actually like me? That's a first…_

_"Mello, are you sure? I'm thinking about just giving you a room to yourself since you can't handle having a roommate it seems."_

_Mello crossed his arms over his chest. "I want Matt to be my roommate. Got a problem with that?" he asked._

_Roger looked at me and met my gaze. "Are you alright with this Matt?"_

_I swallowed and nodded quickly and he sighed. "Alright. Matt, you will be Mello's new roommate. Isaac," he turned to look at the frightened boy behind him. "I'll find you a new room to stay in."_

_With that, Roger and Isaac left leaving Mello and I alone. _

_Mello turned to me and smirked slightly. "Hey roomy," he said and then reached over to grab my hand. I was startled as he led me into his room. There were two twin beds inside but otherwise it was rather empty._

_He walked over to what I guess was his bed and reached underneath it, pulling out an old tin lunchbox. He opened it and inside was stacks of chocolate bars. He took one out, unwrapped it and closed the box, pushing it back underneath his bed. He sat on the mattress of his bed and then looked at me as I stood awkwardly in the doorway._

_He rolled his eyes and gestured with his hand. "Well come in, it's not like you're an intruder," he said irritably._

_I did as I was told and sat down on the other bed. Mello stared at me for a long time, snapping off bites of chocolate with his teeth. Finally he spoke._

_"There is only one rule in this room, no one touches my chocolate stash, got it?"_

_I blinked and nodded quickly. "I-I don't even like chocolate really…" I said._

_Mello stared at me for a moment and then burst out laughing. His laughter resulted in me joining him and then he got up and walked over to sit down next to me. He threw an arm around my shoulders and grinned at me. He smelled like chocolate, I liked it._

_"I like you, you're alright in my book," he said._

_I smiled slightly and started to blush a little. Mello reached over and grabbed something from underneath the pillow of my bed. He handed me something and I took it._

_It was a video game handheld._

_"You're giving me this?" I asked him in shock._

_He shrugged. "Well it's not mine. It used to be that asshole Isaac's, but since he's no longer here it's yours."_

_I turned it on and instantly was enveloped in the Super Mario Bros. game. Mello watched me play over my shoulder, occasionally biting off his chocolate bar. We didn't talk much during that time, but we pretty much silently made it an understanding that we were best friends._


	4. Chapter 4

The three weeks that passed by were…aggravating to say the least.

Mello obviously did not know the meaning of 'rest' seeing as he was constantly trying to sneak out of my apartment. He eventually forced me to put him under house arrest. By the third week I was so fed up with him I handcuffed him to his bed. While some might look at that in a kinky way, it was far from it with the way Mello shouted curse words from his room while I stayed in the living room playing video games.

But it seemed that he was much calmer in the evenings, he would even ask me to just come into his bedroom so he could have some company. We would talk about many things, from our pasts at Wammy's to the evening's awful tasting Ramen.

It wasn't until the end of the third and final week that I had to change the bandaging of Mello's injuries again. Every time I changed it, Mello would refuse to look and see how bad it was. He would simply close his eyes until it was over. I could tell he was scared to see himself even if he didn't admit it. He didn't know, but I would catch him avoiding his reflection constantly. In the bathroom, as he washed his hands he would refuse to look up into the mirror. If he was looking out a window, he would quickly look away lest he see himself.

It was heartbreaking to be honest, having to see my best friend deal with the insecurities of his appearance. But I really didn't know how well he'd take the final removal of his bandages. I'd seen the scars every time I had to change the bandages. The burns which were now turned into nothing but scar tissue ran up from his shoulder all the way to cover half of his face. Mello said the burns didn't pain him anymore so I guessed that was a good sign. Now I just had to worry about the emotional wellness he would have dealing with his appearance.

When it came time to take off the bandaging for good, we were in his room. He stood in front of a floor length mirror. I asked him if he would be able to handle looking at himself and he said he didn't care. Although I heard the hesitation and uncertainty in his voice, I decided that that was what he wanted. And to be honest, I wanted him to see his appearance as well. That would be the only way I could help coax him into understanding that he still looked ridiculously handsome with his good looks that I've always been envious of.

So I stood behind him and slowly unraveled the bandaging covering his scar. He had his eyes shut tightly and I constantly glanced in the mirror to measure his facial expressions. When I finished unraveling the last bit of bandaging, I heard Mello take a deep breath.

I backed away and stood a few feet away, still looking at Mello's reflection in the mirror. His eyes were still tightly shut.

"Mello, open your eyes…" I said softly.

Mello shook his head. "I can't," he muttered.

"Just open your eyes."

"No Matt. I know I said I didn't care but now I take back what I said…"

I grimaced and stepped forward. Carefully, I placed a warm hand on his right shoulder.

"Mello, it really is not that bad. In fact, I think it makes you look really bad-ass," I said gently.

He swallowed but still kept his eyes closed. "No, I refuse to look."

"Stop being stubborn."

"No."

"Mello…"

"I said no!"

Just like he did with me, I raised a hand and smacked him hard across the back of his head.

"OW!" Mello opened his eyes and turned to glare at me. "What the hell was that for!?" he yelled.

I shrugged and pointed at the mirror. Before he could stop himself, he looked to see where I was pointing at and stopped as soon as he laid eyes on his reflection. I watched the emotions that flew across his face. First it was surprise, then hurt, anger and finally indifference. He turned so he could look at himself from different angles; reach up a hand to run his fingers over the rough, darkened skin. He didn't say anything; he just looked like someone who was trying on a new shirt to see if it fit right. Finally he turned to me.

"Now then, let's get to work on the Kira case…we're really behind," he said.

I was shocked. Stunned beyond belief. Was this really Mello's reaction? Indifference? I couldn't believe it. Mello was always one to overreact over the simplest things. For him to be okay with his new appearance was just not…normal. Any other person would be upset or hurt…distraught even. But apparently not Mello…at least not on the outside.

"You're…you're alright with this?" I asked him.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Alright with what?"

I gestured to him. "You're new look?"

He shrugged. "Whatever. I really don't care. Besides, I have other things to worry about. We've spent too much time taking it easy, now we need to get back to work."

I narrowed my eyes as I watched him. He walked over to a laptop sitting on his bed and flipped it open. I stood there, watching him a moment longer until he looked up at me.

"What are you looking at?" he asked with irritation.

I closed my gaping mouth and slipped my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I muttered a quick 'nothing' to him before I left the room, shutting the door behind me. But I didn't walk away; I stood there, just outside of his room. I pressed my ear up to the crack, listening for any sounds of tears or anything of the sort. But nothing happened.

It was just silence until the sounds of typing on a keyboard could be heard.

Maybe Mello was tougher than I thought. To be unaffected by this…well I guess he is not the same boy I knew at Wammy's. At Wammy's, he was a different story.

I knew when Mello was upset. Usually it was about Near. In fact that's often what it was about. Every time he got test scores back and saw that Near beat him by a little bit more, he wouldn't express his anger until he was with me.

_Five Years Ago…_

_I sat cross-legged on my bed in my bedroom. I held the video game handheld that Mello gave me the day we met in my hands, playing a rather difficult level on Donkey Kong. A cigarette was placed between my lips, thin trails of smoke drifted up into the air as I took an occasional drag from it. As I was just finishing the game the door of my shared bedroom with Mello was flung open, slamming into the wall. I jumped about a foot in the air and looked up to see Mello storming into the room, slamming the door shut behind him._

_I didn't move or say a word, I simply watched him as he sat down on his bed and chucked a crinkled up ball of paper across the room. It hit the wall and fell to the floor, rolling to a stop. I looked from the paper ball to Mello who sat on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest. He was glaring at the floor below him, refusing to look up._

_In silence, I stood up and walked over to the paper ball. I picked it up and carefully unraveled it until I could see what it was._

_It was one of our tests given to measure the accuracy on whose intelligence was higher. The Wammy's Orphanage always held these monthly tests to measure who was more able to compete to be L. Mello's paper had a 100% written in red pen at the top. I looked up from the paper at Mello._

_"Wow Mells, this is a great score! You got full marks!" I said to him._

_He was silent for a minute longer and then spoke, his eyes never leaving the floor._

_"It doesn't matter," he muttered._

_My smile fell and I held the paper loosely at my side. "What do you mean?"_

_He sniffed and turned away, wiping away what I could only guess were tears. I didn't move for a second, my mind debated on what was the right thing to do in this kind of situation. But eventually I walked over and sat down next to him on the bed. We were quiet for a while, but then Mello spoke, his voice cracked when he did._

_"I tied with Near."_

_That basically answered all of my unasked questions. I sighed and looked at the paper with a grimace._

_"So it happened again?"_

_He nodded. "Yeah. Just like last time and the hundreds of times before that. Near and I still tied. But you know what pisses me off?"_

_I looked at him as he continued to stare at the floor. His eyes were hidden beneath his bangs but his hands were clenched into tight fists. He spoke through clenched teeth._

_"What pisses me off is the fact that no matter how hard I try, Near always comes out first."_

_I shook my head at this. "But Mells, you both tied! You're even!"_

_He laughed bitterly. "What difference does that make? I've seen how the adults here treat him. They treat him like he's L himself. Maybe he deserves to be L. I mean, what are the odds that I would become L? Limited to none…I can study all I want and try all my best, but Near will always be one step ahead of me."_

_I was always pained to see Mello like this. His bitterness made me feel cold. I never liked this side of Mello. Carefully, I reached up and wrapped an arm around Mello's shoulders. I was relieved that he didn't shrug me off. He just sat there, leaned forwards as his hands laid on his lap. He never looked up at me. We sat like that for a while until I finally spoke._

_"They notice, Mello. They see how hard you try, how much effort you put into everything you do. They like that. They like to see someone as hardworking and devoted as you are. Near just does what he does because he has no life. But you always put your goals before everything else. You strive to be L's successor and you will be. I have a feeling that in the end, you will be the one they end up choosing. Not Near, not me, not anyone else here. It'll be you and when you are chosen, I'll be rooting for you from the sidelines the entire time."_

_When I finished speaking I heard Mello sniff again. His nose sounded stuffy and he reached up to wipe away hidden tears again. Slowly, Mello let his head lean to the side until it came to rest against my shoulder. I blushed at this, looked down at the top of his blonde head. I swallowed against a tight throat and tried not to let myself blush anymore. Why was I blushing? Why was I getting all heated from this? All Mello did was rest his head against his shoulder…what was about this action that would make me blush?_

_As I continued to muddle through these confusing thoughts in my mind Mello spoke._

_"Thanks Matt. You're the only one in this damn orphanage who actually listens to me and sees who I really am. Without you I'd probably go nuts like the famous B…" He laughed slightly and turned his head so he finally looked up at me. His blue eyes were red rimmed and his cheeks were stained with tears but he was smiling slightly nonetheless. It wasn't a full smile, it was a small smile, but it was true and that was what melted my heart at the sight of it._

_"You're my best friend Matty…don't ever leave me," he said to me._

_I returned his smile softly and tightened my arm around his shoulders. I leaned down and rested my head on top of his. _

_"I promise I'll stick by your side no matter what Mells…"_

My eyes flashed open to look up at the ceiling. My hand was stretched out over the side of the couch I fell asleep on, as if I really was comforting Mello. I blinked and sat up, blinking my bleary eyes around the dark living room. It was late and my throat was dry from snoring slightly. I got up from the couch and walked into the nearby kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I washed down my dry throat with a few sips and eventually sighed, looking over at the clock hanging on the wall. It was one in the morning…honestly, what was wrong with my sleeping patterns? Usually I never woke up this early…

I paused when I heard something.

It sounded like a loud hiccup or a sharp intake of breath. The sounds a person would make when crying.

I slowly set down my glass on the counter and cautiously made my way towards Mello's closed bedroom door. I gently pressed my ear up against the cold wood surface and listened. At first there was absolutely no sound at all, but then I heard it again, the sound of broken gasps and loud sniffing. I bit my lower lip and raised my hand to the door and knocked gently on it with my knuckles.

As soon as I knocked I heard a small gasp and then silence.

"Mells?" I asked quietly.

There was no answer.

I knocked again. "Mello?"

Still no answer.

I sighed and knocked harder. "Mello I know you're in there. Open up alright?"

After a minute of silence I heard a muffled voice speak from the other side. "Leave me alone Matt."

I paused, wondering if I should do as I'm told, but I was fed up with following Mello's orders. My best friend was in there crying and I wanted to be there for him.

"Mello open this god damn door!"

"Leave me alone!"

"I won't leave you alone until you open this fucking door!"

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

There was silence and I took a couple steps back. "Fine then! You leave me no choice but to break down the door! One…Two…Thr-!"

Before I could finish speaking the door was flung open so hard it shuddered on its hinges. Mello stood in the doorframe, staring at me with livid eyes. He looked…distraught. His cheeks were red and stained with tears, his eyes were slightly bloodshot and red rimmed.

"What the fuck do you want with me!?" He asked me in a loud tone. All I could do was look at him and he narrowed his eyes into slits. "Find it funny to see my tears Matt? Do you think of me as a weak fool for crying? Well go ahead, I don't fucking care abou-"

"I'm not laughing at you Mello. I only want to comfort you."

His eyes widened slightly at my words but then he snorted. "Yeah…whatever."

Now it was my time to glare at him. "At Wammy's I always comforted you. I was always the one there to catch the tears that you cried. Why is now any different?" I asked him.

He was silent as he stood in the doorway. I paused and then added, "What kind of best friend would I be if I couldn't be there for you?"

Mello swallowed and after another moment of silence, he turned around and walked back into his room, leaving the door open. I took that as a sign that I was allowed inside and so I entered. I stood in the doorway, watching him as he walked over to his bed and laid down, curling up on top of the covers, his back facing me.

A moment passed before I looked away and shut the door. I walked over to him and sat down on the edge of his bed. We didn't speak for a long time, but he was the first to break the silence.

"It's ugly isn't it."

I turned to look at him. His face was hidden by his hair but I could see his hands clenched into fists. His shoulders were shaking slightly. I knew what he meant.

"No it's not ugly. I don't understand how you could think that of yourself."

"Matt, I used to be handsome. Now I'm just some hideous freak. Who wants to look at some guy with a scar covering half of his face?"

"I do," I answered quietly. I heard Mello's intake of breath and knew he was not expecting that answer. But I continued anyways. "When I look at that scar, I can't help but think of how great it looks on you. Dammit Mells I'm actually jealous of you. No matter what you wear or what your style is, you can always make it look good. To be honest, I don't know of anyone who can pull off black leather better than you."

Mello laughed slightly at the last part but I still continued.

"The scar gives you character, Mells. It tells others that you are a fucking awesome, bad-ass person who is not to be messed with. If Near were to see you, he'd probably shit his pants in fear. If anything, I like your looks better now with the scar…it gives you a personality."

Mello was quiet when I finished. We just sat there, listening to the sounds of sirens going off outside and the other apartments surrounding us as their owners moved around in them. Finally Mello spoke, his voice cracked and was thick with tears.

"Thank you Matty."

I smiled softly and reached over to pat his shoulder in a friendly gesture before starting to stand up. But before I could take one step towards the door Mello spoke again.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I'm going to go to my own bed…"

Mello still didn't turn over to look at me, but he spoke again.

"Don't leave me alone."

I could hear the fear and pain in his voice. Instantly my insides melted and I walked back over to him. How could I ever refuse such a humble request? I awkwardly climbed onto the bed next to him. He scooted over to give me more room and eventually I could fit on it. An inch separated our bodies from each other. I faced his back as my head rested on the same pillow as his.

"Don't ever leave me Matt," Mello said quietly, almost in a whisper.

I was brought back to the faint memory of when he told me this same thing five years ago. I closed my eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of chocolate that always lingered around him.

"I promise I'll stick by your side no matter what Mells…"

I heard him let out a small sigh of relief and eventually his breathing slowed until I knew he was asleep. I was comforted with being this close to Mello…

I reached up quietly and carefully grabbed a lock of his golden hair between my thumb and index finger. I felt his smooth hair and leaned in closer until I could place my lips against it, planting a kiss on the soft strands.

"I could never leave you…I love you too much…" I whispered faintly.

I finally let my mind drift off to sleep about dreams involving Mello.


	5. Chapter 5

When I opened my eyes in the morning, I found myself wondering where I was. As my eyes roamed around the room I knew that it was not my room. I rolled over in the bed and then came face to face with Mello's sleeping face. I was so surprised, I let out a strangled yelp and backed away quickly resulting in myself falling off the bed and onto the floor. I groaned as my back collided with the floor and then I heard a yawn from up above. Within seconds Mello's tired face loomed overhead of me, looking down at me over the mattress.

"What are you doing on the floor?" he asked me in a sleepy voice.

I blinked and then shook my head while standing up. "I fell out of bed," I muttered to him.

Mello laughed slightly and sat up in bed. I looked at him and he was looking off into space with a frown.

"We really need to start working on the Kira case, Matt."

I sighed and reached up to run a hand through my hair. "Can't you just let it go Mells? Near's well on his way to solving everything, so maybe we should just back off."

Mello turned to look at me sharply. "If I backed off I would be considered a coward and that is the last thing I want to be known as. I will catch Kira, Matt. And you will help me."

"What if I don't want to help you?"

He gritted his teeth as anger flashed across his eyes. "Then I'll have no choice but to leave. Now that I'm healed I'll just leave and go after Kira on my own."

"Mells, this case will get us killed."

He got out of bed and I had to fight back the shiver of excitement at the sight of Mello wearing nothing but his black leather pants.

"You won't die Matt; if anyone is going to die it'll be me."

My hands clenched into fists but after a second I relaxed and took a deep breath. "Can we not talk about death this early in the morning?" I asked.

Mello looked at a nearby alarm clock and he grinned. "Well seeing as it's an hour past noon we're a little behind on our day."

I laughed lightly and reached into the pockets of my jeans to pull out a lighter and a cigarette. I placed the cig between my lips and lit it only to look up and see Mello frowning at me.

"What?" I asked him as I slipped the lighter back into my pocket.

He sighed. "Don't you know that smoking is bad for you?"

I shrugged. "So? I don't care. It helps calm my nerves and relaxes me."

"Yeah but it kills people!"

I groaned and turned away from him. "Mells, I have a feeling that I'm not gonna die by cigarettes."

He didn't reply to that and instead walked out of the room and into the kitchen. He began rummaging around in the cabinets until he found the chocolate bar stash. He took one out and began munching on it hungrily. I, on the other hand, just stood there smoking on my cigarette while watching him bite off chunks of his chocolate bar. I couldn't help but admire him. Mello was so…_surreal._ Just having him in the same house as me…it made me the happiest I've ever been in four years. Getting Mello back into my life was the smartest thing I've ever done.

But it was still completely stupid as well. Because no matter how hard I try, I couldn't stop these overwhelming urges to kiss him or hug him. I just wanted to run my hands over every inch of his body…to just hear his moans of pleasure as he enjoyed my touch. As I imagined him hot and sweaty before me I blushed as I realized my pants had groan tight in a particular area again. I sighed and looked away from Mello's sexy body and looked down at the floor below me.

"Matt, I have a plan for the Kira case."

I looked up at him. "Huh?"

Mello continued speaking between bites of his chocolate. "Kira knows what I look like right now. All I can do is hide from him but Kira does not know who _you_ are. So what I'm thinking is you could go and follow a girl by the name of Misa Amane."

I paused and blinked at him in surprise. "Misa Amane? You mean that teenage model that's on the cover of all of those famous magazines and stuff?"

Mello nodded. "Yup. So I suspect her of possibly being the second Kira. You can follow her around as she goes about her daily activities and see who she speaks with. We'll also need to wiretap and install cameras into her home. We need to find out everything we can about her and figure out if she really is the second Kira."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Mells, do I really have to follow around a model?" I asked him.

He gave me a strange look. "What, you don't want to? What kind of guy are you Matt? How could you not want to follow around a teenage model?"

I grimaced as I looked at him. "Fine. I'll do it."

He gave a short nod of his head. "Good. So first things first, install the cameras and wiretapping in her house and then start following her around, got it?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"But Mello?"

"What?"

I sighed. "You realize this chick is in Japan right?"

Mello nodded. "Of course I knew that. That's why we're going to go there. Tonight."

My eyes widened in shock. "Tonight!?"

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "What, you think I am kidding?"

I nodded my head, my lips parted in surprise. "Mells, how can we even afford to travel to Japan right now!?"

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly Matt, I was in the Mafia. I did save up quite a bit of money. It's not a lot, but it's enough to get by with," he said.

I couldn't believe what Mello was telling me, but at the same time I could. I guess I needed to stop questioning Mello's skills in getting at what he wants and needs. Mello always has a trick up his sleeve. So I accepted this plan and then looked around the apartment.

"Well what do we do about this place then?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "We'll just leave this shit hole."

I was slightly offended that he called my home a 'shit hole' but brushed it off. "Mells, I can't just leave this place. I still have some rent to pay."

Mello looked over at me sharply. "Matt. We leave tonight. So start packing what you need. Pack lightly too. We leave tonight."

There was no more to argue about so I did as I was told. This was what I wanted after all. I wanted to travel with Mello, to help him in any way possible and be there for him just like the old days. This is what a best friend would do…a loyal friend. And I was loyal. I was always loyal to Mello. Even back at Wammy's I did whatever he told me to do without a second thought…

_Five Years Ago…_

_"It's simple Matt, we're just gonna sneak into Roger's room and release the bird in there…" Mello told me as if he did this on an everyday basis._

_I frowned as I held the quivering blue bird in my hands. I may have not looked like it, but I was very fond of animals as a kid. So holding this poor bird captive made me feel horrible._

_"Mello I don't think this is such a good idea…"_

_Mello snorted and rolled his eyes. He placed his hands on his hips as he looked at me. "What, are you _scared?_" he asked me._

_I blushed slightly and looked up at him. "No!"_

_"Then do it!"_

_"I can't!"_

_Mello groaned and stepped towards me. "Matt, if you're gonna be my best friend you're going to have to learn to trust me."_

_I grimaced as I looked back down at the bird. "But this bird is innocent and harmless…" I mumbled._

_Mello sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. "The bird will be fine, I promise. Roger won't kill it, he'll just open the window after freaking out and the bird will escape from there. Simple as that."_

_I glanced up into his confident face. "Are you sure?"_

_"Positive."_

_I bit my lower lip as I debated what was right from wrong in my head. In the end after weighing the odds of what would happen, I listened and did as Mello said. He unlocked the door of Roger's office and I crept in slightly. Roger was sitting at his desk looking through some paperwork. He looked very busy and intent on whatever he was reading so he took no notice of me._

_My hands tightened slightly around the bird as I held it and then with a deep breath, I released it into the room. The bird took off quickly, flapping its wings in a flurry and tweeting loudly. I quickly backed out of the room and back next to Mello as we watched from the door. Roger yelled and stood up from his desk, grabbing a folded up newspaper and swatting around at the bird as it flew frantically around the room._

_"ARGH!" Roger growled and in swift movements, he ran over to the large window in his room and flung it open. Sunlight poured into the room and with a loud tweet of relief, the bird made a beeline for the window, exiting in complete safety to its freedom._

_Roger slammed the window shut and locked it, breathing heavily and sweating profusely. I felt a hand placed on my shoulder and looked over at Mello who was grinning from ear to ear at me._

_"See? I told you the bird would be fine! And did you see the look on Roger's face? Priceless!" he said._

_I couldn't help but return his grin and we both burst out laughing. Roger heard us however and flung the door wide open. He looked down at us and narrowed his eyes._

_"You!" he yelled._

_"RUN!" Mello shouted and grabbed my hand, helping me up as we scrambled to our feet. We made a break for it, running away from Roger's office and down the many hallways of the orphanage, pushing past inattentive children. We managed to burst through a door and outside into the bright sunlight. I blinked away at the bright light, my hand unconsciously reaching up to pull my goggles down and shield my eyes. My eyes were very sensitive to light, that's the reason behind why I wore my goggles. Without them, I would go blind if I was in the light too long._

_Mello and I ran over to a bunch of bushes over by an old rotting fence and dived into the safety of the branches. Leaves and twigs poked at my body as we crouched in the bushes, trying to catch our breath. Finally Mello looked over at me and smiled._

_"You were _brilliant _Matt!" Mello exclaimed breathlessly. _

_I said nothing but smiled at him. He surprised me then by throwing his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. It was just a friendly hug, something any two friends would do to show their fondness of each other. But the moment Mello hugged me a shiver ran up my spine as currents of electricity ran over my skin. All the air in my lungs was pushed out of me as I was stunned by this action._

_When Mello released me he lightly punched me in the shoulder while laughing at my shocked expression. "What's the matter Matty? You look as if you've just been blinded by the light!" he continued laughing._

_I closed my parted lips and swallowed against a dry throat. At that moment I realized I didn't even have to go outside to be become blind. I was blinded by Mello. A boy so full of light and energy that I could hardly blink. _

_It was then that I realized just how far my feelings for Mello had gone. There was no turning back now._

_Mello was my light._

* * *

Mello and I arrived at the airport of Tokyo Japan and I realized just strong Kira's power had become. People acted so secretive. Everywhere Mello and I went there were police. Normally the police would be against Kira, but after four years in power, Kira had gained complete control over everyone. The police…Japan…the entire world for that matter. Those who were against Kira, were either forced to remain silent or be punished. I realized that Kira was a dictator than anything else. Criminals who were still alive, were in hiding. I knew that Mello and I were those criminals as well. Mello was a wanted man, and I would be ranked right up there with him.

But I didn't mind the thought of having wanted posters with my fake name on them hung up everywhere. To be honest it seemed pretty bad ass to me. If I am to die, then at least I'll have gone down in history as one of the few who stood up against Kira. I once learned at Wammy's that cowards are shown no mercy. It is the brave and courageous who find the glory even in death, knowing that they fought for what is right to the very end.

Of course back then that talk only reminded me of superheroes in comic books. Now that I'm grown up and living in reality, I see just where that line comes into play. Those who fight may fall, but they fall with courage and bravery, marking them the will to die without regret.

That's how I would want to die.

Mello and I got a taxi from the airport to go to somewhere. I asked Mello where we were going but he didn't answer me. Instead he just looked out the window as people and cars passed by. Tokyo was a big city and I had to admit I liked the feel of it. Then again I was always known to be a city boy to say the least.

"It sure is a big city…" I said quietly while looking out the window of the taxi.

Mello was silent for a minute before replying. "A big city with a big problem…" he murmured.

We arrived outside of what looked like a very run down building. A few windows were broken and boarded up; graffiti covered the walls of the alleyways on either side of it. This looked like a building fit for a band of criminals. But then again I had to consider that Mello and I were with that lot.

"So…this is it?" I asked him. I would never tell him, but I thought the apartment I had back in Los Angeles was way better than this.

Mello sighed and started making his way towards the door. "Come on, let's get inside before we get killed," he muttered.

We entered the building, Mello shut the door behind us and I looked around. It was a pretty big place, with rotten, wooden floors and an old, cobweb adorned staircase that led up to a second level. The place had definitely seen better days. It was cold and drafty, with the stench of what you would smell in an old antique store. I had to admit, the place gave me the creeps, but Mello didn't seem to mind it at all. In fact he looked quite pleased with the place.

As we walked upstairs to the second level of the building I spoke.

"I thought you said you had a ton of money from the Mafia…"

"I do have a lot of money."

I frowned. "Then why can't we live somewhere nicer?"

"Because that's what Kira would expect of us, Matt. He expects that all of those who go against him have the money and finery to do so. He would never think that someone who lived in an old abandoned building like this would possibly have the money or ability to go against him," Mello explained to me.

I didn't respond to that but simply remained silent as we finished climbing the stairs and walked down a narrow hallway on the second floor. We turned into a bedroom on our left and found a four poster bed sitting in the wide open room. A few tables were there as well, along with a couple dusty and worn couches. I was surprised and thankful to see some outlets on the walls, so that at least assured me that we had electricity in this dump.

"Does this place even have indoor plumbing?" I asked aloud.

Mello sighed and pointed to the door we just came in through. "Down the hall and on your left, we passed it. It's a small bathroom but it has a working shower and bath along with a sink and toilet. It's nothing fancy but it works and that's what matters."

Once again I remained silent and walked over to a couch. I plopped myself down on it only to have clouds of dust rise up from the cushions. I coughed and swatted away the dust clouds and looked over at Mello. He stood by one of the windows that happened to not be boarded up. His arms were crossed over his chest as he frowned while looking out at the deserted street below.

"Mells…"

Without looking away from the window he answered. "What Matt?"

I bit my lower lip. "This may come as a surprise but…I kind of like this place…"

Mello looked over at me and gave me a small smile. Over the course of four years a lot has changed about his smile. It wasn't as bright and cheerful as it had been once. It didn't exactly light up the whole room with brilliant rays of light. But underneath all of that stubborn wear and tear, I could still make out the faint glimmer of light that belonged only for me.

My light.


	6. Chapter 6

Mello and I sat in the main room of our new hideout. The only source of light in the room was from a small little lamp Mello bought from a thrift store. It sat on the middle of a coffee table between us. The table was covered with two laptops both displaying many videos of the interior of Misa Amane's house. Mello sat on a chair with headphones on, taking a few bites occasionally from his chocolate bar. I sat in a chair opposite of him, crouched over as I focused intently on my handheld video game.

After a while of this Mello removed his headphones, placing them around his neck.

"Matt, I really need you to start following Misa Amane around," he said.

I looked up at him from my game. "Well I would Mells, but I don't have any means of transportation aside from a taxi and that doesn't work out too well."

Mello sighed and leaned his head back against the chair. "Just because I said I have money doesn't mean I can just go out and buy you a brand new car Matt!"

I smirked slightly at him and he saw it. Instantly he shook his head.

"No. No way in hell am I going out to buy you a fucking car."

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. The cigarette between my lips dipped down as I parted my lips to speak.

"Well then you can just forget about me following that chick."

Mello growled and stood up. "FINE! We'll go out and buy you a fucking car!"

I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. "You know Mells, there are other means of obtaining a vehicle rather than just buying one…"

Mello stared at me for a minute and shook his head again while crossing his arms over his chest. "No Matt. This is not like that stupid video game Grand Theft Auto. We're not stealing a car!"

I shrugged. "Well then you can go and waste money on a car then."

Mello glared at me and then plopped himself back down in his chair. "You are a fucking bastard you know that Matt?" he muttered.

I grinned as I looked back down at my game. "Yes but somebody has to get on your nerves around here so I figure that's my job…"

Mello sent a kick over in my direction but I easily dodged it, laughing.

"Well just how are we going to steal a fucking car, genius?" Mello asked me.

I thought for a moment and then replied without looking up from my game. "Well I've done it before and it's not that hard really…and I already have a car in mind…"

"What? Where is it?"

I glanced at the nearest clock. It was midnight. Perfect.

I stood up and shut my game off, setting it down on the coffee table. I stuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans and looked down at Mello.

"Come on; let's go play a game of Grand Theft Auto."

* * *

It was easy to tell that Mello had never stolen a car before. The guy was in the Mafia and had his own Mafia lair and yet he never stole a car before. I guess that was just proof that I was more of a criminal than he was. The thought made me want to laugh.

Mello followed me as we walked down the dark city streets of Tokyo. He wore a black leather coat since it was pretty chilly out and I wore my vest. As we walked Mello stuck close to me, constantly glancing around as if there were cops waiting on every corner.

"Mells," I said after Mello jumped slightly from a car turning a corner on the street and driving past. "We're not going to get arrested for walking down a street you know."

"Yeah but we will get arrested for stealing a car!" he whispered fiercely.

I rolled my eyes and took out a cigarette and lighting it. "What kind of ex-Mafia criminal are you? You'll go and kidnap a girl of a police chief and yet you won't steal a car? Honest to god Mello…you need to chill."

Mello kicked the back of my leg and I turned to glare at him. "What the hell was that for?"

"For being a jackass," he muttered while averting his gaze.

I sighed and turned away. I had to admit it felt weird leading Mello. Usually I was the one always following Mello's orders and doing whatever he wanted. But now Mello was following me as we went to follow up on a plan of mine.

We turned a corner and came across a parking lot full of cars. I turned to Mello with a grin and held my arm out towards the many vehicles.

"Take your pick!" I said with a smile.

Mello shot me an annoyed look and stuck his hands into the pockets of his coat. He walked into the parking lot, looking at cars occasionally. I followed him, my eyes roaming over the many automobiles. But I stopped when I came face to face with the coolest car I'd ever laid eyes on.

I knew quite a bit about cars. My dream as a little kid was to become a mechanic someday but obviously that never carried out. But despite not ever becoming a mechanic, I still worked with cars whenever I got the chance. Over the past four years while searching for Mello, I would work at numerous auto shops as a mechanic to fix cars and stuff.

I knew many different cars as well. From old to new, you named it I knew it. So as I walked along the length of it, I ran a gloved hand over the sleek and shiny red surface.

It was a red 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 454. It was a pretty rare car, not many models were made if I was correct. So to actually see one in person and in such good shape was all I needed to be convinced that this was the car I wanted to steal. Mello came up beside me and looked at the car.

"No," he stated bluntly.

My eyes widened and I snapped my head over at him. "WHAT!?" I complained.

Mello frowned. "Matt, that car is way too easy to find if we stole it! We'd be caught in a matter of days after stealing it! Besides, how often do you think people drive these around? We need to find something less conspicuous!"

My lips parted in disbelief. "But Mello-!"

"No but's!" he snapped. "Look for something else Matt!"

He turned and walked off. I glared after him and turned back to the car. My gloved hand lightly touched the silver handle on the driver's door. It was just so tempting…and the window on the driver's side was cracked open making it simple to use a metal wire and unlock the car.

I turned around to see that Mello was busy looking at a motorcycle and I turned back to the car. I reached into the inside of my vest and pulled out a long wire and carefully slid it in through the cracked window. I watched through the glass as I easily hit the door locks. With my success, I smiled and opened the car door and hopped into the seat of the car. As soon as I did though I heard Mello.

"MATT!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU!?"

I sighed and slammed the car door shut, locking myself in the car. Mello walked up to the front of the car and stood there, glaring at me with his hands on his hips. I smirked and bent over to work on hotwiring the key ignition so I could start the car. I was skilled at this, so within minutes I had the car up and running. As the engine roared to life I looked up at Mello through the windshield with a devious smile.

I rolled down the window and pointed to the motorcycle he was looking at earlier.

"Want that motorcycle Mells?" I asked him.

He looked way too angry to even speak. So I sighed and hopped out of the car, leaving it running. I walked over to the motorcycle and admired it. It was a pretty sweet ride, Mello had good taste. So I hotwired the bike and soon it was up and running as well. Mello walked over and spoke.

"Matt you son of a bitch! Let's leave now before we get caught! I've changed my mind, we'll just buy a car alright?"

I sighed and patted the leather seat of the bike. "Come on Mells, take a seat and drive. I'll take the car and we'll leave here alright?" I said calmly.

Mello's fists clenched tightly as he gritted his teeth in anger. But then he gave in and pushed me out of his way, hopping onto the bike. I grinned at him as he put on the helmet resting on the handles. Just as he did this though I heard it. Police sirens echoed off the streets as cars were speeding towards the parking lot we were in.

"Matt!" Mello yelled. "Hop onto the back of my bike!"

I shook my head and before Mello could say anything more, I made a break for the car. There was no way I was leaving it behind.

"MATT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" I heard Mello shout before he revved his motorcycle. Right as I got to the driver's side of the car, two police cars were sounding closer. I hopped into the car quickly and stepped on the gas. Mello flew past me on his bike and I followed him. We passed the cop cars just as they entered the parking lot and we sped down the streets, away from them.

I followed Mello as he drove. I could hear the sirens grow fainter and fainter as we lost them. Finally Mello turned into an alleyway and I followed him with the car. As soon as I parked the car and got out I heard Mello's yelling.

"YOU ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC BASTARD I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET! YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO LISTEN!" He shouted at me as he paced back and forth in front of his bike.

I leaned against the car with my arms folded across my chest, watching him as he vented his anger out. When he was finished, he stood breathing heavily in front of me and I raised an eyebrow.

"Finished?" I asked him.

He swallowed and nodded, reaching up to press a hand over his face and slide it down.

"Shit. Now the cops have seen us…" he groaned.

I shook my head. "No. They didn't see you, because you had your helmet on. They didn't see me because I raised an arm in front of my face as I drove past them so they couldn't see me. We're safe Mells, they won't find us."

He pointed at my car. "Yes they will Matt! This fucking car gives us away!" he said in an exasperated tone.

I smirked. "I guess we'll have to be careful about where we leave this car then," I said.

Mello glared at me and his nostrils flared. But then he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well now what?" he asked me in an annoyed voice.

I shrugged. "Go home I guess."

"What if the cops are there already!?"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously Mello, you need to stop being so paranoid. The cops don't know who the hell we are. All they know is that a car and bike were stolen tonight and that's it. We left no evidence behind for them to track the missing vehicles to us."

Mello's right eye twitched and he said nothing but shoved his helmet back onto his head. He hopped onto his bike and revved it to life. I got back into my car and we drove off down the streets towards our hideout. We parked the car and bike in an alleyway a few blocks away from our place and then walked to our hideout. Once inside we trudged up to our main room and Mello threw himself face first onto the bed.

"I can't believe we just did that…" he said into the sheets.

I grinned and walked over to sit down on a chair in front of the laptops. "But you have to admit, it was fun…"

"Fuck you, Matt," Mello muttered into the sheets.

I laughed as I took up my video game handheld and resumed my game.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Alright guys, here it is, the long awaited chapter where everything falls into place for Matt and Mello. STRONG YAOI CONTENT! You have been warned...I am not responsible for the destruction of your innocence!_

* * *

The minute I opened my eyes I saw Mello sitting in an armchair watching a laptop, monitoring Misa Amane. He had his headphones on and his blue eyes were narrowed as he watched the screen intently. From my spot on the bed underneath the warm covers, I could secretly watch Mello without him noticing. A small smile formed on my lips as I saw him lift a chocolate bar up to his lips and snap off a bite with his teeth. He chewed on the bite of chocolate before swallowing it, my eyes traveled down the length of his throat as the muscles contracted, working the bite of chocolate down.

Mello sighed after a minute and crossed his legs, leaning an elbow on the armrest of his chair. He balanced his chin on the palm of his hand and continued staring at the screen. I took notice of some dark circles beneath his eyes from not getting enough sleep. His health was deteriorating from working on this case…all to beat Near for once.

My eyes were glued onto his which were downcast at the computer screen, a blue glow highlighting the handsome features on his thin face. Every blink sent a small shiver through me as I watched his eyelashes brush against his soft skin. He was too handsome…I was nothing compared to him.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about him, that I didn't even notice Mello look up and notice me staring at him until he spoke.

"Good, you're finally awake," he said.

I blinked and sighed, turning over onto my back and stretching. "Yeah…so what's the plan for today?" I asked him.

Mello removed the headphones from his ears and uncrossed his legs.

"You're going to head out and follow Misa Amane around today. I'll stay here and keep watch over the place."

I didn't argue with him about this task. It was my decision to work with Mello on this case and these were the jobs I had to do. Besides, seeing Mello looking so sleep deprived and tired made me want nothing more than to help him in any way I could.

I got out of bed and strolled over to the dusty dresser in the room. As I pulled on a shirt and semi-fresh pair of jeans, Mello spoke.

"Remember to keep your distance from Misa Amane. You'll need to follow her wherever she goes but without giving yourself away. While you're out doing that, I'm going to go out on a business trip…"

My head popped through the neck hole of my shirt and I raised my eyebrows at him. "What sort of business trip?" I asked him with suspicion.

He shrugged. "I have to go have a visit with Near about an old photograph he has of me…" he said nonchalantly.

My eyes narrowed slightly as I grabbed my goggles and slipped them on over my eyes. The world went orange as I looked through the orange lenses. Mello saw my suspicious look and sighed.

"Matt, it's nothing. I promise I'll be coming right back here afterwards."

I swallowed and grabbed my wool vest off of the back of a chair. As soon as I slipped it on, I grabbed a pair of crafted car keys for my stolen vehicle and walked towards the door of the room. I paused on the threshold and turned to glance over my shoulder at Mello. He was busy looking at the laptops again, taking a bite from his chocolate bar.

"Mello?"

Without looking up he spoke. "Yes Matt?"

I slipped my gloved hands into the pockets of my vest. "You better come back."

He looked up at me and we maintained eye contact for a long minute and then he nodded while looking away.

"I promise I will, Matt."

I pressed my lips together, fighting back the worrisome thoughts invading my mind and left the room for good.

* * *

Any young man would probably do anything to have the chance to follow the young model, Misa Amane. But I was probably the only man in the world who looked at it as a grueling chore. The girl was…cute, I'd give her credit for that. But as soon as she opens her mouth to speak any thoughts of admiration I had towards her disappear at once. She was just so _oblivious_ to the world around her. During surveillance on the cameras with Mello, she would speak about nothing but her boyfriend and how she worried about him cheating on her.

I felt bad for her at first. If she was the second Kira, then she was more than likely digging herself into a trap. I knew the original Kira wouldn't want to keep an idiot like her alive for long. I always told Mello that we should just kidnap the girl and interrogate her for information, but he said that that would be a stupid idea. He told me that Kira would more than likely have some sort of backup plan to work his way around that situation without being found out.

So there I was, standing on a street corner, my back against a brick building as I watched the annoying girl go into a clothing store with a middle aged man named 'Mogi.' They were inside for a while and I watched them through the store windows. She went straight for the changing rooms to try on ridiculous outfits while Mogi sat in a chair to wait. Honestly, I felt sort of bad for the guy, who would want to do this all day?

Suddenly my cellphone rang and I snatched it out of my pocket, holding it up to my ear.

"Matt here."

Mello's voice spoke on the other line. "Matt, I'm just calling to inform you that I'm going to be leaving soon for Near's place. I won't be back for a few hours so you'll probably be home before I am alright?"

I nod my head, watching people pass by me on the sidewalk. "Okay…"

"How's the surveillance of the girl going?"

I glanced over at the store again only to pause. She was gone, and so was the guy. I scanned the streets quickly trying to find them but all I saw were the masses of people coming to and from work. No sign of her at all…

"Damn," I muttered.

"What?" Mello asked.

I reached up and ran a hand through my hair. "I lost them."

Instantly Mello blew up at me. "Matt you fucking idiot! How the hell could you let her out of your sight!?" he yelled at me.

I sighed and spoke over him in a frustrated tone. "I'll go and try to find her alright!? Just shut up and go have your little reunion with the albino kid."

With that said I snapped the phone shut and briskly made my way down the streets, snaking my way through crowds as I searched for the stupid blonde girl. But she was nowhere to be seen and I could only come to the conclusion that I lost her.

"Damn it…" I growled and ran my hand through my hair again as I felt myself getting stressed out. I lit up a cigarette between my lips to try and calm my nerves before making my way back to my stolen car. I hopped in and took off back to Mello and I's hideout. Once I arrived, I went up to the main room and looked at the laptops. Sure enough, there she was on the screens, sitting in a kitchen talking on a phone with what I could only guess was a friend.

I sighed and sat down in one of the dusty chairs, picking up my handheld video game and started playing. Mello always said I was a cocky idiot and that I had too much confidence in myself as I would play video games while monitoring. But it was just so _boring_ watching something that never moves! I was never a person to have patience with this sort of stuff.

I have no idea how late into the day I played video games while 'monitoring' Misa Amane, but eventually it got so late that I began to worry about Mello. He said he'd be back…he said he'd return. But I was beginning to have my doubts. But just as I was beginning to think he'd never return, I heard the door to our building slam open. I stood up quickly, my hand unconsciously twitching towards the gun in my back pocket. I listened to footsteps stomp up the stairs and my hand grabbed the handle of the gun.

Finally a person stood in the doorway and looked at me for a minute. I narrowed my eyes as I peered into the dark doorway.

"Mello?" I asked.

The person stepped forward and I saw that it was indeed Mello. He walked into the room, his boots clicking on the old wooden floorboards as he approached the nearest wall. He slipped off his red jacket wordlessly and then glared at the wall in front of him.

"How did the visit with Near go?" I asked, trying to get some information out of him.

At first he didn't speak at all. He just removed his jacket and tossed it onto the floor carelessly. Then he kicked off his boots and just stood there in silence. Finally he spoke after what felt like forever.

"He gave me this…" he reached into the pocket of his pants and held out his arm to me without looking. I walked over and grabbed the picture from him. It was the only picture I ever remember there being of him. Each of us at Wammy's had our photos taken but Mello was never thrilled about it. That's why the boy in the photo was frowning up at me.

I looked up at the side of Mello's face. "Is this really all that the visit was about?" I asked.

Mello swallowed and I saw his hands clench into fists. "I repaid my debt to him for giving me the damn photo by slipping him information I found out about the Death Note."

My eyes widen slightly but I said nothing. I just watched as Mello glared at the wall. His hands were clenched so tightly I could see the whites of his knuckles. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were full of the bitterness and hatred that he never had four years ago. I never liked seeing Mello like this…it always pained me to see him in pain.

My eyes softened and I stepped forward until I was directly behind him. I contemplated on whether comforting him was the right thing to do. I was never good with comforting Mello in the first place…all I could do was listen to his every command and do whatever he said to try and make him feel better. Finally I decided I'd give it a shot at comforting him and leaned my forehead against his right shoulder. I could feel his muscles tense up at this action, but after a moment he relaxed and sighed.

"Matt, what are you doing?" he asked in a calm voice, some of the bitterness was gone.

I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes staring at the wooden floorboards and the back of Mello's legs. "I don't even know anymore Mells…" I replied quietly.

Mello was quiet for a minute and then spoke. "What do you mean by that?"

My eyes narrowed even more as I started to feel a strange hot liquid well up in them. My vision was growing blurry as I continued to stare at the floor, my breath becoming slightly uneven as I could only think thoughts of how much I wanted Mello. How much I wanted him to love me…how much I wanted him to hear my silent pleas for attention. I swallowed and shook my head, my dark hair ruffling against Mello's frail shoulder.

"Nothing," I muttered.

Mello sighed and turned around to face me, his light blue eyes full of many emotions. From curiosity to hurt all the way to one emotion I could not read. He looked at me with a face that I would sometimes call an 'open book.'

"You're lying Matt. Tell me what's bothering you."

I shook my head again, turning away from him to avoid eye contact. I didn't want him to notice the tears threatening to spill over in my eyes.

"Nothing's wrong Mello."

Mello watched me for a minute and then crossed his arms over his chest. "Dammit Matt, just tell me what's wrong! It's not like I'm going to judge you for whatever you have to say. We're best friends; I'll always be here for you."

I reached up and ran a hand through my dark locks of hair. "That's just the point Mello! We're best friends!" I said in a frustrated tone.

Mello narrowed his eyes at me. "What, you're upset about us being friends!?" he said, his voice growing a little louder.

I began pacing back and forth across the floor, my mind running at full speed as I debated on what to say to him.

"No! I'm not saying that!" I said loudly.

"Then what the hell is wrong Matt!? Why can't you just spit it out!?"

I couldn't stand it anymore. With my heart racing and blood pounding in my ears, I turned to Mello and stepped forward, slamming him up against the wall. His back hit the wall and he looked at me with wide eyes, I could detect a very faint hint of fear in them as he looked at me. My hands clenched into fists against the wall as my head fell forward in anguish.

"I just can't tell you…but then again I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to tell you again…" I muttered.

"Tell me what!?" Mello snapped, trying to appear that he still had the upper hand in this situation even though I had him trapped against the wall.

My face snapped back up at him and my lips parted as I stared deep into his eyes. I may never have a chance to tell him…to tell him what I've kept hidden from him for all of these years…to tell him that-

"I love you," I whispered. The words came out so fast that I wondered if they were even intelligible. But then I saw Mello's eyes widen as he looked at me. His lips parted and he could only open and close his mouth like a fish out of water. I could literally see the wheels in his mind working as he tried to find words to say to that. But for once in his life, Mello was rendered speechless.

"I…I…" His lips fumbled for words and then finally he narrowed his eyes. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you Matt. If you're joking it's not funny."

I was bewildered at Mello's response. He thought I was _joking!?_ How could he possibly think I would joke about something like this? Mortified, I lowered my arms and took a step backwards from him.

"You…you think I'm kidding?" I asked him faintly.

He nodded. "Yeah…why else would you say something like that? Besides, I know it's not true because if you truly loved me you would've never let me leave the orphanage that day four years ago."

His words infuriated me to the point of no return. In upmost fury, I gritted my teeth together as I spoke.

"You think I _wanted_ to let you go? Is that what you think?" I asked him in a shaking voice. Mello's eyes were slowly widening again as he watched me struggle for words through my anger. "You actually think that I didn't give a shit about you leaving? Mello…I spent the past four _years_ of my life searching for you. I spent the last four years of my life wanting to find you to tell you just how much I wanted you to come back, to never leave my side and that I was sorry for my unresponsive actions."

"But you didn't come after me!" Mello argued.

I laughed bitterly. "I didn't come after you? Mello, I fucking ran like hell after you, you just didn't see me!"

Mello was struggling to argue against that. "But you didn't give a fuck that I left!"

I had had enough. I grabbed Mello's shoulders and slammed him back against the wall again. I had him pinned and my face was mere inches from his.

"I LOVE YOU DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT ALL OF THESE YEARS I'VE LOVED YOU!?" I yelled, my voice echoing around the room. At long last, the tears won and spilled over, falling down and pooling up at the bottom rim of my goggles. I choked out strangled sobs as I gasped for control over myself. My heart was pouring out every ounce of the love I had for Mello. I could no longer contain it. Mello could only watch me in shock. It was a long period of silence that fell between us. I just stood there, my heart pounding against my rib cage as I waited for Mello's response.

At long last, he spoke. As he did, his eyes softened. He reached up and placed a hand on my cheek, lifting my face up to meet his.

"Do you know how long I waited for you to say those words, Matty?" he asked me in a whisper.

My breath caught in my throat as he inched closer to me, our lips a breath away from touching.

I swallowed nervously as I looked at him. "H-How long?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

His eyelids lowered as he looked down at my dry lips. "Too long."

Finally Mello leaned forward and our lips met.

Every nerve in my body was on a live wire. My lips were unresponsive at first to his, but slowly they started to move as my mind moved past the shock of what was happening. Slowly I wrapped my arms around Mello, pulling him closer to me as we kissed deeply, passionately.

Mello made a strange throaty sound that sounded as if he was enjoying this just as much as I was. His hands moved up so he could grab locks of my hair, pulling me closer to him. Soon there wasn't an inch of space between us. It was just Mello and I…nothing else.

Currents of electricity ran over my skin from everywhere Mello touched. When we had to break apart for air, Mello rested his forehead against mine, our breathing was irregular. Our hot breath mixed together, his of chocolate and mine of tobacco. Finally Mello opened his eyes and I could see the passion written in them. I had no doubt my eyes reflected the same emotion.

"More…" Mello breathed.

I grabbed Mello's wrists and forced them up against the wall on either side of his head. I gazed at him lustfully and he gave me a devious smile, licking his lips slightly. I wanted to wipe that smile off of his face…I wanted to see the expressions of pure pleasure as I made him see stars. So I leaned in and ran my tongue over his scar, licking it and letting my hot breath brush over it.

Mello groaned and I slid my leg between his resulting in my thigh rubbing against his crotch. I lifted my leg up and down so my thigh would constantly rub against the growing arousal at his crotch.

"Matt…mmm…" Mello moaned as I continued this. My lips moved from his scar all the way back up to his and gave him a deep kiss. My tongue begged entry into his mouth and he willingly allowed me entrance. I explored every inch of his hot wet cavern, tasting the chocolate on his breath. It was pure heaven to do this with Mello…to just hold him in my arms after so many years of waiting…

Mello broke away from the kiss, a thin trail of saliva trailing from our lips. I licked my lips and let go of Mello's wrists to reach down and grab the backs of his thighs. The surprise was evident on his face as I hiked his legs up around my waist. I reached around and locked my arms behind his back and he locked his arms around my neck. Supporting him with my strength, I turned us away from the wall and walked forward until we both collapsed onto the bed. Mello laughed lightly as I hovered over him, my goggles slightly askew.

Mello reached up and grabbed my goggles, pulling them off from my eyes and tossing them away. I smirked and pulled back to strip my shirt off before leaning back over him. Mello trailed his fingers down over my chest leaving trails of fire burning beneath my skin. I exhaled softly as his fingers paused on one of my nipples and began massaging it.

My head fell forward, my hair falling into my eyes as he continued toying with my nipples until they were erect. I groaned and leaned down to grab the zipper of his vest between my teeth. I lowered myself down his torso, pulling the zipper with me until his vest came undone. Mello lifted himself up to remove the vest and toss it onto the floor. He smirked down at me as my face came level with the growing bulge in his leather pants. I could only imagine how painful it must be for him in those leather pants with such a growing problem…

"M-Matt…" Mello breathed my name as I used my teeth to pull at the laces of his pants. With my hands, I reached up and pulled them down only to be slightly surprised at the fact that he didn't wear any underwear underneath. Looks like he was waiting for his day just like I was. I removed his pants completely and threw them onto the floor with the rest of our clothes. Mello lay on the bed completely naked before me and I was…overwhelmed with longing.

Without a word, I leaned down and skimmed parted lips up Mello's straining arousal. I let my hot breath feather the sensitive anatomy and in result of that, Mello moaned his loudest yet. But I didn't want to just hear Mello moan…I wanted to hear him scream.

My lips stopped at the tip of his member and I slowly took it into my mouth. Mello groaned deeply as I slid him into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat. I breathed through my nose as I started to bob my head up and down. Mello thrust his hips up at me causing me to nearly choke. With my hands, I pinned his hips down and gave him a warning look as I continued bobbing my head up and down on his length.

"Matt…Oh god Matt!" Mello moaned as I continued to deep throat him. I listened as his cries grew more and more pronounced until I heard him give me a warning.

"Matt! I'm going to come!"

Upon hearing those words I removed him from my mouth with an audible pop. I licked my lips and moved back up his body until I was hovering over him again. Mello's face was flushed and his breathing was irregular as he looked up at me through lustful eyes. His blonde hair was splayed across the bedding as he reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me close so he could capture my lips in his again.

As we kissed, I began to grind my hips against his arousal and we broke apart with moans. Soon Mello could stand no more of it and pushed me back gently so he could undo my jeans, pushing them down roughly with need. I helped him remove them, kicking them off to join the rest of our clothes on the floor. Mello glared at my black boxers and shook his head.

"I want you Matty," he growled and pushed the boxers down roughly. I removed them and soon my weeping arousal was free at last. Mello sat up so we both face each other on the bed and pressed close until our chests were together, our bare skin touching each other. I moaned at the feeling of Mello's hot skin and started grinding my hips against his. Our arousals rubbed together as I did this and Mello reached down to grab my member. He began to pump it and I could only lean forward so my head rested on his shoulder.

"Mello…ah!" I moaned before I bit into his shoulder gently.

I began panting against his skin as his movements grew faster and finally I pushed him away to prevent myself from coming too soon. Mello was unwilling to take a moment to stop however and with great force, pushed me backwards. I fell back onto the bedding and Mello straddled me, his knees pressing into my sides. I ran my hands around him to grip at his ass as I gazed up at him lustfully.

Mello bit his lower lip as he stared at me with heavily lidded eyes. He began grinding his hips against my abdomen and as he did so, reached over into the nightstand and pulled out a tube of lubricant. He squirted some onto two of my fingers and led my hand beneath him until my fingers were touching his puckered entrance.

"Do it Matt," Mello whispered in agony.

Without waiting a moment more, I plunged my fingers into him and he groaned loudly, his head falling forward against his chest. But soon he began moving his hips up and down on my fingers like a slut. He licked his lips and I moved my fingers up to meet his eager hips. Eventually Mello removed my fingers and moved backwards slightly until he was hovering just over my throbbing erection.

_Oh god…_I thought as I watched him. _He's going to do it…he's actually going to do it! _

Slowly, Mello lowered himself down and I felt myself enter him. We both moaned out loudly as he continued to lower himself down on me until I was completely inside him. I reached around to grab his ass and looked up at him through pleasure-induced eyes.

"Mello…" I whispered.

I felt his insides contract around me gently before he relaxed. It was after that that he began moving, sliding himself up and down on my member, impaling himself repeatedly. The speed was slow at first as both of our moans grew louder and louder. Eventually we were both nearly yelling in pleasure as he moved faster, my hips would thrust up into his to meet his every thrust down on me. Mello angled himself slightly and I knew I hit his special spot for he threw his head back exposing his neck.

"OH GOD! FUCK YES! OH GOD MATT!" Mello shouted into the room as he continued to roll his hips. He reached down and began pumping his neglected arousal in time with our thrusts.

"Ah! Ungh…Mmm…F-FUCK!" I yelled as I felt myself about to come, the pleasure was pooling up inside of me, waiting to be released.

Finally I could contain it no longer, I gave Mello my warning and released inside of him, covering his walls with my seeds in an almost predatory way. Mello shortly after came as well, covering both of our chests with his white liquid.

Weak and exhausted from the exercise, Mello removed me from inside of him and rolled over to collapse onto the bed next to me. Our labored breathing filled the room for a while as we tried to catch our breath. Eventually Mello reached down and pulled the covers on the bed up and over the both of us.

Mello turned onto his side and was instantly asleep. I rolled over to face his back and reached up to grab a lock of his golden hair.

"I love you Mello…" I whispered.

I closed my eyes but not before I heard him reply back to me.

"I love you too Matt."


	8. Chapter 8

_Four years ago…_

I sat in Mello and I's shared bedroom. My back rested against pillows as my eyes were glued to the small screen of my Gameboy. As I played Zelda for the hundredth time, my mind wandered to Mello. He told me an hour ago that he was going to Roger's office because apparently there was some urgent news. Mello joked about it saying that maybe Near finally got himself killed somehow but we both knew the odds of that happening were limited to zero.

I had just lit a cigarette between my lips and took a deep drag from it. Smoking was not allowed at all at Wammy's. But since Mello and I never followed by the rules, he always helped me smuggle in boxes of cigarettes while I snuck him chocolate bars from the kitchens. We had an easy system to follow, when one helps the other, the other must repay their debt by doing a favor for him. This system was ongoing and never stopped. We just constantly repaid each other in any way we could.

As I finished my last cigarette, I completed the last level of my game. With the letters 'You Won!' shining on the small screen, I tossed my handheld away from me on the bed and leaned back, stretching. I removed my cigarette and tossed it into an ashtray. As soon as I did this, I just sat on the bed staring off into space. I wondered how much longer this meeting with Roger would take; I really wanted to ask Mello about possibly getting me some more cigarettes. But just as I thought about that, the bedroom door slammed open. I jumped up and watched Mello storm into the room.

"Mello?" I asked him but he ignored me. He threw on his black boots that were two sizes too big for him and walked over to his closet. I watched as he rummaged through the contents of his closet before he pulled out a backpack and threw it onto his bed. My lips parted in shock as I watched him begin grabbing everything within his reach and tossing it into the backpack.

"What are you doing?" I asked him while moving so that my legs hung over the side of the bed.

Mello continued throwing his belongings into the backpack as he finally spoke.

"I'm leaving."

My eyes widened behind my goggles as I stared at him. "You're…what!?"

He reached down underneath his bed and pulled out the old metal lunchbox that held his stash of chocolate bars. He opened it and dumped all of the chocolate into the bag.

"I'm fed up with Wammy's. I'm done dealing with the shit they put me through here. I'm leaving to go find my own life."

I blinked and continued to stare at him. "What happened?" I asked.

"Near, that's what happened!" He said, his tone growing louder. "Roger finally told us who L's successor is and it turns out that once again, Near and I are tied for the spot! Roger actually had the guts to ask of us to work together that bastard!"

"I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck while looking at him in confusion. "Wait, slow down, you mean L is _dead?_"

Mello nodded and continued throwing his stuff into the bag. "Yeah, he's dead and I'm not his one true successor. Near can go and do whatever the hell he pleases in solving this case, but if there is one thing I will never do, its team up with him."

He finishes throwing his stuff in the bag and zips it close. He grabs a jacket from out of his closet and throws it on before grabbing his backpack. I stand up, grabbing his arm.

"Mello wait, can't we just sit down and talk about this? Maybe we can work things out with Roger and-"

Mello shrugs out of my grasp and turns to glare at me. "I'm done with Wammy's, Matt! I'm done! I'm sick and tired of always being compared to Near! I'm leaving to go off and make a life for myself, to go somewhere that I know I will be number one at!"

"Where will you go? How will you survive out there on your own? Mello you're thinking too brashly! You need to sit down and just think about things first!"

Mello snorts and turns away from me. "I've done enough thinking, Matt. It's time I finally take action for myself. I'm leaving that's it."

I make to grab his arm again and then he turns and pushes me backwards with great force. I stumble backwards and fall onto my bed. I sit up quickly and we both stare at each other. Finally Mello walks towards the door and opens it. He stops on the threshold however and turns his head slightly to look at me over his shoulder.

"Goodbye Matt…"

With that he left, slamming the door shut behind him. I sat there in a stunned silence, my heart hammering against my chest as my mind tried to keep up with what was going on. Mello left…Mello is gone….he's never coming back. My best friend, my sanity…the one I love most in the world…he's leaving me. I stand up quickly and pace the room, trying to decide if I should go after him or not. Would he let me come with him?

After a few minutes I grab a nearby jacket and fling open the door. I run out into the hallway, my feet carrying me as fast as they can. I sprint down the empty hallways and corridors, praying to god that Mello isn't gone yet.

"MELLO!" I yell out his name earnestly.

I turn a corner and run right into Roger who was walking down the hallway. The old man looks perplexed to see me in my rushed state and furrows his eyebrows.

"Matt, what are you doing out here this late at night? You should be in your room!"

I shake my head and try to run past him. "Mello!" I yell. "I need to go after Mello!"

Roger looks even more confused. "What's this about Mello?" he asks quickly.

I'm breathing irregularly as rain starts to pour outside in the late evening sky. I push Roger aside with all of my strength and continue sprinting down the hallways. I can hear Roger behind me, ordering me to stop but I didn't listen to him. I kept running as I sought after Mello.

I burst through the front doors of the orphanage and looked around outside. Rain fell from the sky, pounding against the earth and splattering mud everywhere. I looked at the wrought iron gate that was the entrance to the orphanage and made a break towards it. As I ran, mud splattered up from my shoes, dirtying my jeans. Within seconds of being out in the rain I was soaked to the bone. But despite how cold the rain was, I kept running with Mello and nothing else in my mind.

"MELLO!" I shouted his name as I ran. I reached the gate and slammed up against it, looking out at the empty gravel road. At first I didn't see anything, but then I saw a bus just down the street and somebody was hopping onto it. I thrust a hand between the bars of the gate towards the bus. Tears began pouring down my face, mixing with the rain as I desperately reached out to Mello.

"MELLO DON'T LEAVE!" I screamed. "I PROMISED YOU I'D BE BY YOUR SIDE FOREVER!"

The bus closed its doors and rumbled as it pulled away from the sidewalk, moving down the street to soon pass the orphanage. As if in slow motion, the bus drove past and I saw Mello sitting in a seat towards the back next to a window.

_Look at me! Mello look out the window and see me for god's sake! PLEASE!_ I thought desperately in my head as I watched him. But he never even so much as turned his head in my direction. He just kept his eyes locked on the front of the bus and ignored the orphanage passing by him…ignoring me.

"MELLO!" I screamed his name and slid down the gate, my knees splashing in muddy puddles as I gripping the cold gate. Tears were falling faster down my cheeks as I watched the bus leave down the street and disappear around a corner.

"_Mello…_" I whispered.

I heard footsteps splashing in puddles as they approached me. Finally they stopped and I heard heavy breathing.

"Matt, what are you doing?" Roger's voice asked.

I stared at the muddy ground. "He's gone. Mello's gone."

There was silence and then Roger walked closer to me. He held an umbrella and instantly it stopped raining down on me when he was standing behind me.

"So he really did leave, huh? I guess I should've known…"

I sniffed and reached up to wipe my runny nose. "I'm going after him."

"No you're not. Mello made his choice to leave Wammy's, but you must stay. I'm sorry Matt."

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and stood up. Roger took my hand in his and led me back towards the orphanage; my body was numb from the cold and shock of Mello leaving. When we entered the orphanage, my eyes traveled up the staircase and found a white figure standing partially hidden behind a wall. My eyes narrowed when they made contact with a pair of black ones.

"Near…" I muttered in anger.

The white haired boy simply blinked his face emotionless as he looked at me. Roger was busy removing his coat to notice the stare down between Near and I. Near's eyes narrowed slightly as well, measuring my expression of anger. He then turned away and walked away from me down the hallway. I heard a door shut, the sound echoed off of the empty halls and my hands clenched tightly into fists.

"Matt, go to your room and change, you'll catch a cold if you stay in those clothes for too long," Roger said calmly.

I walked up the stairs, my eyes full of bitterness and pain as I approached my room. As soon as I entered it, I shut the door behind me and I looked over at Mello's bed. It was still unmade, as if Mello just recently occupied it.

I took a few steps towards it and then collapsed face first onto it. My hands clenched at the sheets and I inhaled the strong scent of chocolate. I felt weak…I felt empty. I never got to tell Mello how I really felt about him; I never got the chance to tell him just how much I loved him.

I crawled under the sheets and wrapped myself up in them, imagining them as Mello embracing me. I closed my eyes and buried my nose into the pillow, eventually falling asleep with Mello's scent being the only thing to calm my anger and shock.

_I'll find you Mello…I swear to god I'll find you._


End file.
